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“Copy, Dispatch. Send . . . More . . . Paramedics.”
As many of my friends could tell you, I’m a bit of a zombie enthusiast. Yet, sadly, I developed my love for zombies late in life (like, in my late teens/early twenties) and am thus still catching up on...
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“Normal Folks, They Don’t Spit Out Bullets When You Shoot Them, No Sir.”
The sad thing is, there are only a handful of vampire movies that I really enjoy. I had high hopes for Near Dark, though, because let’s face it: how do you beat Bill Paxton as a vampire? Well, Paxton...
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“Give Me Something to Scream About.”
Generally, I enjoy the Friday the 13th series a lot. It’s campy and silly and fun. Of course, some of the movies just suck. DISCLAIMER: Spoilers for this movie. Also, for Part I and Part II. Sorry....
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“Mind Your Business! I Shall Be Eaten by Whomever I Please!”
So I made this horror movie challenge for myself at the beginning of the year, and I can already tell you that I’m going to fail it. Abysmally. We’ll talk about punishment come December, but for now,...
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“Suzy, What Do You Know About . . . Witches?”
Last week, I was a horror movie nut who had gone her whole life without seeing a Dario Argento film. No longer, my friends. No longer. DISCLAIMER: Images of gory, dead people, particularly in the...
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“PUNISH!”
Sometimes, I regret not having grown up in the 1950′s and 60′s when impressionable young children could ride their bicycles down to the local theater and see a double feature of cheap grindhouse and...
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“I Like You.”
It’s February, people. The month of luv. But for those of you who are bored of luv — and who can blame you, if you are — we at My Geek Blasphemy have something better to offer you instead: murder,...
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“Don’t You Just Love Happy Endings?”
A while ago, my friend Rob got his hands on a huge stack of absolutely terrible horror movies and, knowing our passion for such films, sent the entire collection to my sister and I because Rob is,...
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“I Am The Eater of Worlds . . . And of Children!”
Stephen King adaptations are, historically, not awesome. For every Stand by Me or The Shawshank Redemption, there is a Needful Things – or a Dreamcatcher – or a Children of the Corn – or a Lawnmower...
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“Kiss Me, Fat Boy!”
Back for more Scary Clown action? Here it is . . . the rest of It! DISCLAIMER: SERIOUS, MONDO SPOILERS for Part I, Part II, and the book itself. Also, I’m going to compare the miniseries to the book...
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“I Guess There’s No Such Thing as Safe Sex with a Werewolf.”
Continuing on with bad horror films . . . There’s a sliver of a decent movie somewhere inside Cursed, but it’s mostly buried under worthless characters, inconsistent humor, and a pretty weak lead...
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“You Were Supposed to Rescue Us.”
Valentine’s Day is soon upon us. You (might) know what that means. Bloody Hearts has come. Let us mock . . . Open Grave. SUMMARY: A man wakes up in a pit full of dead bodies with no idea of who he is...
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“Well, OBVIOUSLY, Participation is No Longer Voluntary.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, people. Please put your candy and/or sweetheart aside and come along with me on our continued snarky journey through bad horror movies. Today we’ll be concluding Bloody Hearts...
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“Michael Myers is My Business.”
My friend Kirsten wrote me and said that she had, for some unknown reason, decided to watch Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers. She’d also written a review and was like, “Hey, do you want this?”...
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“Either You’ve Got the Car Started, or You’re a Dead Man.”
Interesting. By happy coincidence, Kirsten and I both recently ended up watching sequels from different horror franchises where an emotionally traumatized survivor named Tommy has to come face-to-face...
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“Wow, You’re a Winner, Ain’t Ya?”
Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. You get to dress up in fun costumes, have an excuse to eat junk food that you were going to eat anyway, and watch a bunch of scary movies. Also, it’s not a...
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“You Go Through All This And It Comes Down to Some Bullshit Guess?”
Many a post ago, I expressed interest in seeing a horror movie version Jumanji. Cause how awesome would that be, right? Well, Teacups helpfully commented that someone actually did make a horror movie...
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“I Wanna Meet Your Family.”
Happy Halloween! I planned to have more horror-related things for you over the last few days, but I’ll be honest — I’ve had a pretty awful week, and I just haven’t had the energy for writing much...
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2014 Fall Premieres: The October Issue
In the interest of saving time, I usually do not post an individual recap for each season premiere that I watch. Instead, I briefly (well, somewhat briefly) summarize my initial impressions for all the...
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Top 10 Favorite Final Girls
Last week, a friend of mine sent me a list of someone’s favorite final girls. I eagerly clicked on the link — because lists plus horror equals yay! — only to find myself completely enraged by the...
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